Harvard police have launched an internal investigation after uncovering strong evidence of theft involving the town’s newest and most popular officer. Suspicions were aroused last week by the discovery of a sizable cache of stolen items buried outside the residence of the officer’s family. Called to the home by a distraught relative, detectives found seven tennis balls, a torn-open box of chicken jerky, and a bright pink rabbit squeaky toy barely concealed in a shallow hole in the yard. “You could tell whoever did this had to work quickly to hide this stuff,” said one officer. “We all hope the culprit isn’t one of our own, but we have to admit this doesn’t look good.”
Pending the outcome of slobber tests on the tennis balls, the department has not publicly identified the suspected officer. The Press has learned that two officers have been questioned: the suspect and her partner. The partner has fully cooperated with the investigation and is not considered a likely accomplice. The suspect has declined to answer questions and appears to be fully exercising her Miranda rights. She has not requested an attorney.
If the slobber tests come back positive for a match, the only mystery will be how and when the thefts occurred. “She’s never out of my sight,” the suspect’s partner told investigators. “How could she swipe a 2-foot-long rabbit squeaky toy and get it into and out of the cruiser without my noticing?” The suspect has undergone rigorous training and had an unblemished record up to now, the partner said. “It’s sad to see a young officer risk a promising career for a few tennis balls. She seemed to love everything about her job except for not being allowed to chase squirrels. I just hope she doesn’t have to turn in her badge and her vest.”