Sarah Saleh:
Holding fast to Islamic traditions
Sarah Saleh was born in the United Kindom to Egyptian parents and lived there until her final year of high school, when her family moved to Canada. She came to the United State for grad school and then worked here and in the Arab world until she had children. By profession she is an engineer, but currently she is working for a nonprofit, Science From Scientists, where, she said, professionals go into classrooms and “make science fun!”
When Saleh was growing up, her family would put up and decorate a tree at Christmas and display Christmas cards. With her own children, now 6 and 8, she and her husband have not done that because “there is no longer that need to fit a certain mould,” she wrote in an email, adding, “We are growing up in such a multicultural society, with so much information at the tip of our fingers, that I think there is a greater understanding of different religions and cultures than when I was younger.” Islam is a religion that shares universal values of compassion, humility, respect, mindfulness, and justice, so when she was growing up, these were the values her parents taught her, and these are the values she and her husband are trying to instill in their children.
“There are Christmas traditions that naturally appear in our lives due to the holiday break; for example, we always share this time with family, and we are thankful for the many wonderful people who surround us,” Saleh said. Her family does not really incorporate Christmas traditions, she said; “However we do sell wonderfully fragrant Boy Scout wreaths!” The kids like to get ideas from Christmas to use at Ramadan, “so Christmas lights become Ramadan lights.” She said they also feel the happiness and good will that others feel especially at Christmas.
Both her children are at Hildreth Elementary School, and they are bound to have questions about Christmas. Saleh said she and her husband explain that Christmas is an important holiday for their friends and neighbors and “we stress to our children that we enjoy their happiness.” She said they enjoy telling their children the story of Jesus in Islam, “as we believe that he was a prophet who cared deeply about everyone and especially those marginalized by society.”
Eid: The most special time
Because the family celebrates different holidays with friends from different cultures and religions, the children understand that different religions celebrate differently. Saleh said she and her husband stress the spirit of giving and they do things like volunteering at a food bank. “We also place a large emphasis on our own holidays, so the children know that their time will also come to get gifts and to celebrate,” Saleh said.
“Their time” comes at Eid, a period of celebration at the end of Ramadan, the ninth month of the lunar calendar and the most special time of year in Islam. Ramadan is not just about fasting from sunrise to sunset, it is also about abstaining from bad habits and trying to be a better person. Eid lasts three days, during which there are special prayers and visits to friends and family. The children receive money from relatives and friends, and “for me it’s like a jumpstart for the year,” said Saleh.
The other major celebration is Eid-al-Adha, and it focuses on the sacrifice Abraham was going to make. It is again three days long and a time of special prayers. Meat is either given to the poor or money is given so that meat can be distributed to those in need. “Again,” said Saleh, “both celebrations are very much rooted in charity, and we always donate money at those times to those who might need it.”
Suraiya Suliman:
Adopting some Christmas traditions
“I feel as though I am now living one of my childhood greeting cards,” said Suraiya Suliman, nodding at the line of Christmas trees across from where we we’re sitting in the General Store. Earlier she had told me that as a child growing up in Bangladesh, Iraq, and Syria, she loved looking at the Christmas cards her family received, even though, as a Muslim, Dec. 25 had no special significance for her. She remembers how nice and pretty the scenes were.
Suliman went to high school and undergraduate school in Toronto, where she mixed with students from many different parts of the world. Together they recognized the Christmas holiday by having a feast, but they did not exchange presents. It wasn’t until after pursuing engineering in graduate school in Boston and after she married Erin, who is from Trinidad, that Suliman began to celebrate holidays outside of her own religion, which is a sacrilege in the eyes of Muslims. Suliman said in Trinidad, most of the people are transplants—from India, the Middle East, England, Africa, or other Caribbean islands—and so they celebrate one another’s most important holiday as a national holiday. She said she found this to be really wonderful, to celebrate and be kind and supportive to one another.
For many years Suliman, her husband, and two daughters have been spending time at Christmas in Trinidad with Erin’s parents. She said the girls look forward to going there and being celebratory. Suliman likes it, too, but she said she finds it hard to buy presents for everyone, not being used to it. “And I have no background in organizing Christmas,” she said.
Fortunately, that’s what 13-year-old Sahara is very good at. “She gets giddy at Christmas” and loves being festive, said Suliman. Sahara makes sure there is a tree, and she decorates it herself. She insists the family sit down and sing carols together. “I am grateful for that,” said Suliman. They have a Christmas feast with Suliman’s sister and her family. “We celebrate extensively,” she said. She appreciates that Sahara and her older daughter Raiya feel comfortable enough to celebrate the holiday as part of the Harvard community to which they have belonged for 14 years. For herself, she said she takes “the good intentions of other religions” and celebrates those with friends. For example, she has attended Mass with Catholic friends.
Celebrating the spirit of Christmas
The two major celebrations of Islam, occurring in early and late summer, are Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. The former marks the end of Ramadan, a holy month of fasting, and the latter is the Festival of Sacrifice. To observe them, Suliman said, people get new clothes and go visiting. “As we are celebrating, we are remembering to give,” to be generous with our time and our property, to make zakat, a donation, said Suliman. She recalled the celebrations of Eid when she was growing up. The poor were treated specially that day, eating well as they went door to door. Suliman said as a kid she loved knowing that the poor were being fed and treated kindly. At Christmas Suliman’s daughters participate in charitable giving through the opportunities at Bromfield.
“I have come 180 from how I grew up,” said Suliman. Then she would have been judged for celebrating Christmas. “Now I am happy to celebrate the spirit of Christmas.” She said she doesn’t have to get into the Christmas hype or give presents just for the sake of giving; she can give only presents that mean something. What’s most important is sitting down together, family and friends, Suliman said. “I can take the best. I am happy to adopt Christmas and also have Eid.”
She said she and her family feel lucky to be in Harvard. She never imagined she would be part of the scene on one of those greeting cards she loved in her childhood.
