Once again, I have been thinking about ending my long-term relationship with BG. Not because of a lack of loyalty. Since the rough patch two years ago when company mix-ups caused BG’s arrival at my house to be sporadic, BG has been showing up for coffee faithfully. No, this time it’s because I’m not sure spending time with BG is good for my health.
The first thing BG always talks about is politics, and I can feel my blood pressure start to rise. I know BG wants me to be well informed and up-to-date, but I think I might be better off not knowing all of these details. For example, here we are, already greatly in debt, with increased military spending, interfering in civil wars, and threatening other countries with nuclear obliteration, and now BG tells me that by 2020, the White House wants to create—as a sixth, separate military war-fighting service—the US Space Force. “Maybe someone wants a new TV reality show: ‘The Force is with Us,’” I mutter to BG.
Almost every day I seethe at BG’s gossip about a new bigwig in Washington caught in a sex scandal or fraud of some sort. Or someone with an obvious conflict of interest, like being the owner of a Washington hotel that hosts people who are lobbying that owner. When BG gives accounts of a former administrator being called a “low-life” or an accusation that the attorney general is “scared stiff,” I pause for a moment. “Wait, are we talking about a bully at the school playground, or what?”
BG needs to change the subject, move on, because my anger is on a roll. So BG tells me about a new version of “As You Like it” and shows me a picture of two actresses in flouncy dresses and floppy hats that look like outfits of the 1930s. The women look nothing like Rosalind and Celia. The multiple wooings will probably be set in a dance hall rather than the ancient Forest of Arden. Why don’t people leave Shakespeare alone!
BG also tells me that Tom Brady is negotiating his salary so he will be making around $20 million this year. I think. Not being used to juggling figures in the millions, I can’t keep it all straight. I am a fan, but I can’t help but think of the chasm between his and other players’ salaries and those nurses or teachers or social workers. Why should a professional who can help make or break the life of another human being each day be paid immeasurably less than one who mainly affects the amount of money team owners will amass during a given game?
The good and the worthless
I don’t usually pay any attention when BG offers to tell me my horoscope, but once in a while I do, and then I’m always sorry. Yesterday BG told me: “Tonight: Respond to another person’s invitation with enthusiasm.” Nothing happened during the day. I had my usual four or so phone calls around dinner time and answered two that said “private caller,” my enthusiasm at the ready. Part of me knew I had no friend named Private Caller, but you never know. I should have known. So annoying.
On the other hand, BG has qualities that are really good for me, like laughter. BG can be counted on to update me on some very funny, often colorful people. I find the parental interactions of Dustin, a jobless 20-something still living at home and Jeremy, the classic teenager, funny and relatable. BG knows I’m a sucker for dogs and that I love this kid, Red, and his loyal dog, Rover. But I’m noticing more and more that if BG relates a not-so-funny episode, I feel almost personally affronted. I know, I shouldn’t “shoot the messenger.” Whoops, I should probably apologize for saying that. (Now, that’s another thing that annoys me.)
What BG does that’s good for my brain is to challenge my vocabulary, sometimes with a clever twist. But it can be frustrating. If the crossword clue is “Classic Fords” and even with a couple of letters I don’t get “Tbirds,” I feel stupid because it was so obvious. If the answer to “blade under a cell mattress” is “shiv,” a word I’ve never heard of, I’m annoyed and mutter, “How am I supposed to know that.” Either way, I blame BG.
Wow! I realize how annoying it is to listen to me talk about my annoyances. And it has nothing to do with BG. I don’t need to end my relationship. What I need to end is my attitude and just get over myself. I need to tune out, move on, and focus on the positive. Because you know what? I find this annoyed me so annoying.
